i have absolutely no life

it is 2:38 in the morning and i`m listening to a lecture by one Dr. Andrew Beveridge in hopes of catching a pearl for the VIA.

and … he is the same as i remember him about 3 to 4 years ago (which is not a good thing…)

i feel like sleeping and i would recommend this for anyone who feels like going to sleep fast!

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i wonder why i chose med school.. anw here are some reasons why people chose to become doctors..

TOP 10 reasons for med school

1. I hate to sleep.
2. I failed in maths.
3. Nobody can read my writing.
4. I have enjoyed my life enough.
5. I can’t live without tension.
6. I wanna pay for my sin.
7. I don’t wanna marry before 30
8. Nobody at home let me stick them with needles..
9. I wanted to help people

and my number 10 the best reason i could find online

10. I guess my life wasn’t as stressfull or as miserable as my subconscious wanted it to be, so I thought it would be a great idea to go to med school .

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i am so exhausted and tired and i really feel burnt out… (i want to take a day off.. can i please!!)

anyways tomorrow class at 830am… revision lectures and i think in the afternoon i`m going to go for a movie or something… i need to destress and realign my focus…

p.s. the reasons are just for fun…  i do have my reasons for being here but for now it doesnt seem to cover up the fact that life in general is quite bad for me now… i want a life…

enough rambling !!

gnight!

Alright this shall be the more “articulate” version of my random musings in the coffee shop!

So far in my 5 year walk with Jesus, there has been many ups and downs.

I dont pretend and i wont say that it has all been Glory Glory and all of it has been like i`m on top of the clouds…

there have been moments where i wonder why?

why is my life such and why are things going in such a way…

but then you know through it all…

Jesus has been faithfull …

it reminds me of this verse in the Bible.

Throughout all my smiles and all my tears He has been there to up lift me and to bring me through!

¹¹Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,  we will also live with him;
¹²if we endure,  we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,  he will also disown us;
¹³if we are faithless,  he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

2 timothy 2: 11- 13

He is faithful! It truly is a trustworthy saying because there were many times where i was driven to the brink where i thought there is no more hope and i cant do this anymore, He stayed and said “Ben I am here.. dont worry”.. when i doubted and said that You cant do it God… He remained faithful and patient with me and showed me that He can do it! Thank you Jesus for being faithful to me… even when i let You down so many times…

Currently at heng heng blogging from my phone reading my presentation and thinking abt some stuff..

Am really thankful for the goodness and favour God has show me during my 5 year walk with Him so far .. The honeymoon is over and sometimes it is hard but He is faithful.

You know since I’ve been here I have met some amazing people … And well when I go off in a few weeks time I’m gg to miss them like crazy haha but shhh dun tell them haha !!

Am just typing out my thoughts and wel it is all over the place.

Lol I will blog more at home haha can’t type soo much on this phone ahh!!! The limitationssss

but i have no inspiration to blogg… LOLs… maybe after today??

Over the past few years i have had the opportunity to live in 3 different places.

I went to melbourne in 2005 – 2006

I came back to KL in 2007

I am now here in JB from 2008

i realised though each time moving has been hard. it takes me a while to adjust but each time i move and each time i go to a different place God is faithful. He places extraordinary and amazing people in my life and i have truly been blessed by their friendships. To all my friends far and wide … I thank you for being a blessing and an impact in my life.

If i were to name all of you one by one i will run out of space.

If i were to mention of the impact you made in my life I would cry

I miss a lot of my friends..
sometimes i wish that i can stay in one place
it is hard moving and moving

but i know for this point, it is God’s will for my life
And He Knows what He is doing…
I just have to trust and obey…

those in melbourne …
jo, tricia, darren, flic, sarah, joshua,
hui qi, linus, eelin, joey, trili,
daniel, jae, vanessa,
… … and many more

those in KL now…
(i would name you but too many
… you know who you are)

to those here where i am
thank you… for taking me as i am
I really am thankful and
blessed to know all of you!

i am blessed beyond a curse

just thought of typing my heart out..

thank you people

good night

p.s. (edit) now i know what it means when i sing….
i will go where You send me… Jesus take me now I am Yours… I lay my life at the altar everything I give to You Alone… Here i am…